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2003 to the Present Theatre is the coming form of entertainment. Telly has kept it in the background for 40 years but now that has keeled over and died. Telly has had its day. l've been there and done that. The real expertise is now in the theatre. I prefer it by far to TV. There is no one who can control me; no editor cutting out bits and no one saying that I shouldn't say certain things as it will upset some politician. If you want drama, go to the theatre, that's where drama was invented.
Me and Ade's hearts have always been in the theatre. That (A Family Affair) was my first time back on stage after the accident so I had a low profile part. It was okay, so now I've got a much better role in Noel's
play. It's all about me. I swan about in a dressing gown and do a lot of snogging. TV and film are dead art forms. Very 20th
century. Theatre is the thing and I'm going to devote the next 25 years of
my career to it. I like the sound of live laughter. I play up to a live
audience. It gives you the timing, the curve and swerve. You become their plaything.
You have a genuine intercourse with them. Emotional intercourse, I mean, of
course. I've been playing it for two weeks now and it's me. In fact, when I read the script I thought this is uncanny, I AM Garry Essendine (from Present Laughter). A man in his early 40s, he thinks he's funny, good looking and very horny! The character is about self obsession, using other people and being very horny. In that way he is probably closest to Richie Rich in Filthy Rich and Catflap. Whereas the Young Ones was about destroying rock and roll, that
[Filthy Rich and Catflap] was about destroying fame and love and sex.
Last year I did a couple of weeks of rehearsals for Celeb", but I gave it up because the scripts weren't up to it. That was supposed to be about the nature of fame, about being famous and abusing your fans and Present Laughter is too, it's just better.
When you are doing a film there's a lot of cutting up - and waiting! You spend a lot of time waiting to walk round a corner and say one line. With an audience it's NOW, there are no editors around. It's just me and the audience and it's what I like best. You perform for a different audience each night. People who don't understand just think that you go out there every night and do the same thing but you don't - you have to find out who they are and give it to them.
The theatre is very sexual. After all, you end up panting, covered in sweat and bending over at the end. That's the bowing. People have been throwing pants at me too.
TV is so bad these days. It's patronising, slight and badly thought out. There's no good comedy. But if you go to the theatre - well, people don't realise what fun you can have. You can go with a group of friends and have a great time. Whereas if you go to the cinema, it's very insular, there's no intercourse.
Watching the show (Bottom)
is a sudden release from the usual constraints of polite society. When
you watch that happening to someone else rather than yourself, it
brings a tremendous feeling of relief. When you really get into the rhythm
of the show, it creates a real rush. I've never been a druggie, I'm embarrassed to say, but you can achieve a similar high when you're watching Bottom. You can
reach this plane of pleasure where laughter and speed and noise all
collide. It's a kind of visual music It's been 28 years since the first fart joke, and I think we're writing better than ever now. We're realising that Bottom is where
our hearts lie. We may go off and do little jobs elsewhere, but we keep
coming back to this partnership. It's a road that just keeps on going. We've always tended towards extremism - we're Motorhead rather than
REO Speedwagon. As we see it, there's mainstream comedy - and
then there's us, out in the badlands. We still feel dangerous and we still feel we're breaking new ground. I suppose we like being in control
of what we do. I've always had a problem with doing what I'm told -
hence my recent little local difficulty with the police! I used to do wild things, like saying "let's
all put on ladies clothing and steal a bus." The instinct is still in my guts,
but I'm more likely to think twice before I do it. I can be gloriously stupid,
but if it helps to divert peoples attentions from the grimness of life, I'm
happy. Clowning around is certainly my personal escape. I don't want to sound like I'm moralising, but speeding is stupid. I'm not embarrassed to talk about it, because I admit I've been reckless. I was an idiot. It was my first offence, but I can safely say I've learnt my lesson. From now on, I'm going to drive like a pensioner - at 20mph! I've thought about buying a horse to get me around while I'm on this tour, but maybe I'll just get my kids to ferry me about on a combine-harvester. Or perhaps I'll go out on a quad bike - except mine doesn't work because it's all bent! I am aware I've got another chance (after his 1998 accident), so I value stuff more. It's made me much more appreciative. It may sound cliched, but now I see every day as a new opportunity. I could have been dead, but someone up there said, 'OK, you can have an extension.' It's like being allowed to stay in the pub after hours! Before the accident, half the day was spent drinking and half was spent hungover. Now I can't drink, I've got more time. Since I smashed my head,
I feel like I've got a lot more freedom. There are a lot more explosives and violence (in Bottom: Mindless Violence). In that sense, this may very well be our last ever tour! We adore the slapstick - and so do our audiences. It's everything everyone has always wanted to do to other people. Our stage characters are acting the way we'd all like to behave, if only we were allowed. We've got to the stage now where we realise the heavyweight press have got it in for us. But you have to surrender to Bottom in order to fully enjoy it. You have to say, 'Oh, well, what the hell' and just dive in. If you don't, it just looks like a collection of fart jokes, but if you immerse yourself in it and go with the flow, it's there for your pleasure. I love working. It's what I do best, and if I didn't work and tried to slow down, I'd just become a boring old fart. Our reward is to hear people laughing - that's why we keep doing it. We're not doing it for the fame or the money What better way is there to spend your life? We've always tended towards extremism. As we see it, there's mainstream comedy, then there's us. We still feel dangerous and we still feel like we're breaking new ground. We like being in control of what we do. I've always had a problem with doing as I'm told - hence my recent little difficulty with the police. I'll always be a rebel, but now I'm a rebel without a driving licence, a rebel without a legal defence, a rebel without a leg to stand on. There's always jealousy in going to see films and wishing I had a part. I don't want to be Tom Cruise, but I'd
like to do what Alan Rickman does. Richie is becoming a grumpy old man and, I suppose, so am I. But then Rik in
The Young Ones was all the things I hated about myself, too. I suppose
Bottom is "The Middle-Aged Ones." It's
not exactly Tennessee Williams. Getting a huge laugh nourishes me. It's been 28 years since our (Rik and
Ade's) first fart joke and I think we're
writing better than ever now. We may go off and do
other little things elsewhere, but we keep coming back to this
partnership. Ade really is my best mate, and our relationship is the longest one
I've had apart from with my parents. It's like a kind of marriage, I
suppose. We're Yin and Yang. Chi-Chi and what was the other one? An-An?
But I have to keep telling him, Chi-Chi, sorry, but I will not have sex
with you. (In The Good Woman of Setzuan) I had to rummage in a dustbin and find a bar of chocolate, then smear
it around my face before turning to the audience. I got a big laugh and
thought, ‘This is paradise — this is what I want for the rest of my
life! I've always been a show-off. I always had to be
the centre of attention. I often mix among ordinary
people. I have taken the tube and I love to meet poor people. And I
talk to them occasionally too, and sometimes give my autograph for
free. I'm terribly lovely and terribly good-looking. Although
tragically my hairline is receding a little…but lah-di-dah! Making people laugh is still a thrill for me. It's got
to be the best job in the world — after Kylie Minogue's thong adjuster. It's (his house) my only
indulgence. Every time I earn a bit more money, we build a
new wall. It sounds very romantic, but it's absolutely true. She (wife
Barbara) walked past
me in the corridor while I was dressed as this little scruff in an
anorak and I thought, 'Oh, there she is!' That honestly was the feeling
I had inside, like some kind of recognition. But I think she fell in
love with Kevin Turvey, and thought he was cute and made her laugh.
Then she met me and was disappointed. I have a complete aversion to technology.
I've thrown three mobile phones into the Thames in the past because I couldn't work them. I've never been on the internet in my life. My wife Barbara gave me a computer but I haven't a clue how to work it. I like applause more than most. I love accepting pants being thrown at me!
When Discovery first asked me (to do Violent Nation), I initially said, "No, I'll look like an intellectual or a has-been or, worse still, both at the same time!" Then they said, "Go on - it's about violence", and I replied, "OK, you know my penchant!" But the biggest incentive was that they didn't want me to be funny. They said, "We just want you to tell us stuff." The idea of not having to be funny really attracted me. This
shows another side to me. It sounds a horrible thing to say, but it gives me the freedom to be more grown-up. It's important to emphasise that this is not a comedy show. I just like telling stories.
It took me by surprise when Ade said in a newspaper interview, "That's enough." But we shook hands at the end of the last tour and said, "We've done it now." That phase is over, but I love Ade, full stop, so never say 'never'. It's not the end of the line for me and him. When we get together again, we'll write The Old Ones!
I have always tended toward extremism - I'm Motörhead rather than REO Speedwagon. As I see it, there's mainstream comedy - and then there's me, out in the badlands. I still feel dangerous, and I still feel I'm breaking new ground. I suppose I like being in control of what I do. I've always had a problem with doing what I'm told.
Hitler was only well-known for 15 years, and I've been globally famous for 25 years. As I'm beating Hitler by 10 years, I thought it was about time someone wrote a book about me, and it might as well be me. But you can reassure all those actresses and members of the Royal Family I was involved with that I'll change their names!
(On 2004) I was going to stay at home and play with the kids. We had A-levels and GCSEs coming up. That was until June, when someone said, "Hey, do you want to be on the telly?" When they said it was about violence I was interested, to be honest. I always think I'm going to find interviews difficult and worrying; that I'm going to give away the real person I am. I have a much lower opinion of myself than I would ever show. I'm aware of how things will look in print at all times. I'm always surprised at how good-looking people think I am. The truth is that women don't come on to me, not nearly enough. I have no idea why. If I knew, I'd make myself more approachable.
We celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. And she (wife Barbara) was my mistress for five years before that. I hate it when celebrities talk about their happy marriages. I don't like all this "I believe in fidelity" stuff. I'd hate to set myself up as any kind of moralist. I'm an anarcho-surrealist and I believe in no law, but I do believe in love.
Playing a goodie is a challenge as an actor.
He's (Ade) more intelligent than me, more rational and attentive. I'm more dreamlike, less controlled. When we write together, I pace and he types, shouting, "Shut up, shut up." We always agreed that if we came up with a gag that only one of us liked, it was out. It was like two guys mending a car.
Now look here, I've done some big things in my time, but I've topped it all by being the Andrex puppy. (Noel) Coward suits me. I have the same rhythm of speech. He also wanted to shock people with things that were dangerous and untypical of what was on the stage at the time. Working is my life. I live for it. It's about getting out of my head and being someone else. Working live is like sex. You lead your audience on, guide them, respond to them, sense and smell them, and give them slightly more than they expected.
Actually, it's probably better than sex. I was surprised to be offered this script (All About George) and that's one of the reasons I took it. I was being asked to play something I haven't played before - a good man. That attracted me. You could say The Young Ones was about being a teenager, The New Statesman was about being in your 20's, Bottom was about being in your 30's and All About George is about being in your 40's. I think it's about being 40 and about being a man. I am very lucky because my wife does everything. All I have to do is remember to let the cat in. I don't have a problem with becoming a housewives favourite. I've done so much in my oeuvre. I'm a global light-entertainment phenomena. It is usually at the end of someone's career that they bring out an autobiography, and I didn't want people to think, "Oh, it's all over for Rik". Well, the Lord put me back on Earth in order to write my book. When I met him and spent some time with him, we got on very well. The best characters come when, in order to survive in the normal world, you suppress pieces of your personality that you disapprove of. Such as vanity, such as selfishness, such as avarice, such as lust, such as feeling that you are more important than other people. You suppress those so that you can live a normal life. You take those out and express them. You ridicule yourself. That was very much the case in The Young Ones and in The New Statesman. And I think that's what The Rik is about.”
I was just aware of having a really fantastic time. The early days were terrifically exciting. There we were getting a weekly wage and performing every night. And all these extraordinary film stars came to see us. Jack Nicholson was in the audience one night. Jack Nicholson! So me and Ade went on and did knob jokes.” I don't like restrictions. It's thrilling to be able to smash something up and set fire to it. So you can dominate everything. Because my imprint isn't on this room, it would give me great pleasure to smash up the table, burn it and destroy it so that I am its superior. It's always been a big part of me that I fell out of a tree when I was about 10 and I thought I was going to be dead. My little sister Libby had a friend who lived over the road and I was in their garden, and I climbed up a tree because it was there. Anyway, a branch gave way beneath my right foot. I can still hear that branch now. I fell straight down and went through a cucumber frame. There was glass and blood everywhere. I was so winded I couldn't breathe and I was pretty certain I was dead. I remember thinking, "This is death". I went to a tree in the middle of the garden and held on to that and tried to shout for help.
Eventually Dad came and got me, and I remember hugging him and thinking,"I'm not dead!" It stayed with me for a long time, that. |
You could look at excess in quite a romantic way as testing the parameters, testing how large your existence is. It wasn't so much about seeing how much I could drink before I died. It's about freedom. I don't like law or being told what to do. I do think that money should be made illegal, banks should be made illegal, everything should be free and we should just take what we want. Except my stuff. Do what the fuck you like and don't give a shit. If anyone tries to stop you, they are the Devil. I like the fact that I was dead for five days, and then I came back because I haven't finished yet. Implies a kind of power. Heh, heh, heh. You need my face sometimes to see the irony in a line. Read this the right way - it's made me grateful to be alive and that means more than it sounds. If it's raining and you think, oh fuck, it's raining, you think, hey, it's not raining on a corpse. And that's a pretty awkward thing to say. It's pretty amazing, isn't it? There's a kind of male menopause guys get when their tummies get
bigger and they don't see quite so well and they're not walking down
the street with girls looking at them any more. And there's something
nourishing in the fact that I had my menopause like that. Woke up and
you're a bit older. For a year or two I couldn't run around the place
and dance and things like that, but it was easier than having to go
through a big depression, as men do. Mornings are some of my happiest times. Often I wake up before the kids and I'll be wandering around at five in the morning. Being famous, being alone, is a rarity. But I love being famous. I'm a vast, international, globally accomplished shifting cultural phenomenon. It hadn't occurred to me before. But it's a pretty powerful thing. I like strong things. I'm not violent, but I like violence - well, it's a big subject. I adore Laurel and Hardy - they make me laugh because there's something horrible happening, but it's not happening. And the violence in the attitudes of the Goons - I like the speed and mayhem, sort of like not being alive, isn't it? Yeah, that's what it is,
it's about not being mortal. It's fantastic because you can do
whatever you like and there's no responsibility. Laughter is a relief
at something not being real. You're getting very close to the things
you're afraid of and then they're not there. There's excitement in
the act of fear itself. That makes me happy, it does, but I'm happy anyway. I'm here for 30 years, I'm here till I drop. I don't pretend to be
young. That's why I'm doing (All About) George, because it's so different. It's
about identity, about growing older, it's about responsibility, about
coping. The best stuff you do - there's a lot of you in there. A Rick, Alan or Richie is easy to play: that's just expelling stuff. You're playing all the things you hate about yourself. Here (in All About George) I'm forced to play all the things I like about myself. That's hard for a comic, because generally, certainly in British comedy, you say: "Laugh at me. I'm less than you. Ridicule me." Here I'm setting myself up as a straight character, and that's quite fearful. As soon as I opened up the script (for All About George) I thought 'Oh wow, this is great', and it kind of hit me between the eyes because it's so well written and it's such a dense, complicated piece for me. It's about a man in his mid-late 40s with a huge family and all this responsibility. So I thought it was really in keeping with the age structure of my career. George is quite 'proper' and that's a real first for me. The imagination in casting me for that was
quite breathtaking – I'm still not sure even now if I can play a nice character, I kept reading through the script thinking 'come on, who does he fight with' or 'who does he shag?' (All About) George is quite proper, and that's a real first for me. The imagination in casting me for that was quite breathtaking. I'm still not sure even now if I can play a nice character, I kept reading through the script thinking come on, who does he fight with or who does he shag? The only area where I am remotely similar to (All About) George is that I've got children and that I'm married. But I think that I am a very different father to my three than George is to his brood. And I'm very lucky because my wife Barbara does everything around the house. All I seem to be put in charge of is letting the cat in! Ade and I will definitely go out on the road in live shows again, but it will be in a different form. We're getting older every day, let's face it. Just to be recognised, and for people to tell you that you've made them laugh - well, that's the greatest thing of all. Alan (B'Stard) is that aspect of myself that is posh, selfish, evil, manipulative, nasty, and very funny. He's a fantastic character, and a joy to play. I see the theatre as the last bastion of free speech. Nowadays the BBC is just a mouthpiece for the government: it wouldn't allow three-quarters of the jokes in the (New Statesman) play to be made on television. It's a rolling, organic play. The boys are coming on the road, so when something happens they'll hand me a new gag or line. It's all very exciting. It's also the public's last chance to see something really
good: because of global warming, three-quarters of British theatres are soon going to be under water. I'm a little intimidated by the classics, because of all the people who have done them so well. New plays though are another matter. I love working in the theatre, because the audience is your best director. They tell you what they like and don't like. You don't have to bother about someone else stopping you and telling you what you should be doing differently. Acting is like drinking, it's being out of your head. It's a rest from being yourself. I love playing the part of Alan (B'Stard)because he is so bad, he is so selfish and he's evil. I've always been attracted to playing baddies. I think, as I get older, Alan will just become more selfish and scheming. He's somewhere between being a twat and actually being a complete bastard. You have to ridicule the most ridiculous elements of his character for the humour and really maximise the evil at the same time. Yes, me and Ade love each other; yes, we're going to work together. We match each other, I still maintain it is like a marriage - I'm one half and he's the other, I'm the feed line and he's the punchline, a rhythm that works beautifully together. I'm wary of looking pretentious and arty and soft and gentle and stuff like that, but I was a very happy man before that happened (his quad bike accident) and I'm a happier man now. All I've got to complain about is that I can't drink, but if you look at it the correct way, I haven't had a hangover now for about eight years. Because I'm loved more by the Almighty God than anyone else on this planet, bless him, for various reasons I don't know... I couldn't claim to be a vain person, but is one of the reasons the Lord put me back on Earth the fact that the first night of the (New Statesman) tour is exactly eight years to the day that I came back? Is this the reason God put me back, and what is the significance of the number eight that's what I'd really like to know! I loved what The Young Ones did, Kevin Turvey... The Comic Strip hadn't quite kicked off. It was somewhere around '84, before Barbara and I met and got married, there was a period then when I was thinking, 'Is that it then? Have I had my fun? Have I had my fame, glamour and all that, have I had it?' I'm not the sort of man who is going to retire, this is my art form. I'll keep on going till the day I die; like a painter, as long as I can hold a paint brush, I can't see any other way of being. I hate being out of character. Me and Ade's timing was so matched, he'd come in - bof! And then I'd dance and decorate on top of that and then he'd come in again and flatten it, and that would lead to something else. I'm blushing now because I'm embarrassed. I miss working with him. I don't see life in terms of before and after the accident. It happened just after I turned 40, and I think if ever there's a period of life that changes you... I've been quoted saying that it's made me more aware of being alive, which sounds puny and not very rock'n'roll, but it's true. I can emotionally go off on a tangent for no good reason. I'm usually well behaved and polite, but a bit psychotic. That may be why I enjoy doing live work, because my performance is larger than a normal everyday performance. That will look like bollocks in print. I'd like to say I don't read my own press. I try not to. Me and Ade did Godot, which was brilliant and we got thumped, and I remember reading this severe hammering and being broken-hearted. Ade once said: 'Rik's problem is that he doesn't have any hobbies.' I don't have an outside life. Think of this as pretentious if you like, but I see myself as an artist, like Picasso gets up in the morning and does a bit of painting, so I'm going to be doing what I do until I die. The trouble with political comedy is that it's a bit less cutting than it used to be. These days it's more about making fun of politicians' mannerisms than going for the jugular. It's so difficult to get a political gag on telly now. I had terrible trouble with a show called Believe Nothing on ITV in 2002 where it was censored before we were allowed to record it. They were telling me, "You can't say that joke, that one's got to go". But we still have freedom
of speech in British theatres so I can say what I want and we can write what we want. That's why B'stard is back on stage. The BBC2 controller Jane Root rejected this great new show called Hooligans Island I had written with Adrian Edmonson, and I was fuming.
It was going to be the follow-up to Bottom. The idea was that we were working as airline stewards and there was a terrible plane crash and then we're stuck living as wild men on this island. Then things happen like a fashion shoot arriving with loads of gorgeous girls and we try to steal a helicopter. It was some of the best stuff we'd ever written, but Jane decided it wasn't funny and said no. It was the first time in my whole life anyone had ever turned us down and I was staggered, deeply shocked and
very pissed off. We went on the road with the Bottom Live tour in 2003, and then Ade said, "Right that's it, we've done that now. That's enough". I didn't want it to stop. But then again it was me who had said no to continuing with The Young Ones. I didn't agree with his decision, but the idea is that we give it a rest for four or five years and then do something else together. Maybe The Old Ones or something. I don't think I've ever had so much fun playing a character. (Alan B'Stard) I was with Ben (Elton) in the Groucho Club and we saw Little Richard and his advice was stop at the top. That's why we ended the show. (The Young Ones) I'm nearly 50 years old now and I wanted to do something. I didn't want to go back on telly, that has become so restrictive and so anal that I didn't want to do it. Doing a live gig is the best thing, that's where it really is at now. We've (Rik and Ade) had our ups and downs. We never really argue but we do have long, long sulks. We once went for a year without talking. Touring is a hard slog, living in hotels is very boring and the two of you really are in each other's faces all day long. There's a massive pleasure for me in hearing 3,000 people laugh, and that's something you're keen to protect. But you always stop at the top. I was the one who said we needed to stop The Young Ones, because I didn't want to fade away. That's why me and Ade (Edmondson) shot Bottom in the back of the head. London is by far the hardest stage to play, without doubt. I mean I'm the best at it and this is by far the best show there's ever been (The New Statesman) but it's very challenging. The sense of humour in London always changes, just because there are so many different people and so many visitors, you just don't know who is there. You've got to get out there and quickly find out who or what they are. I'm still honoured and flattered by the way people come up and talk to me about The Young Ones. Don't forget it was last effing century, man! It's a long time ago. So I saw the script [for the New Statesman stage show] and thought, great, I will go against one of my basic laws of pan-global entertainment, which is "you don't go back". You don't say, "hey let's do another series of The Young Ones now all the others are aged 50 and I'm in my late twenties". I thought, "no, Alan isn't merely a yuppie from the 80s he's a permanently evil, nasty bastard, as British politicians are".
Theatre is the hardest job in the world because you work almost two hours a day. So, some days you have to get out of bed at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, you really do. And you have to make your own way to the theatre, well, sometimes they send you a car, but I have to find my own way from my bed to the car. Then they've got to drive you to the theatre and I have to get out of the car and into my dressing room and take all my clothes off and I've only just put them on, can
you believe it? And it goes on and on. It's hell. Sometimes you have to do it twice a day - matinees, in front of three pensioners. Can you imagine? My secrets are really dull: the responsible dad who gives the kids a lift to school, picks them up, gets them this or that, takes Barb shopping, helps clean the house. I try to be enigmatic. Honesty is very frightening, and so are the few friends you're honest with. I always wear the same clothes: black T-shirt, pair of jeans, pair of boots, and my big coat, no matter what season it is. Coffee is very important. I'm not addicted to anything - I'm Rik Mayall - but you've got to have a cup to wake up, haven't you? And another for elevenses, and another when I'm feeling tired... I don't drink milk. When I was a little boy, it made me bloat up. It's some health thing - my mummy knows what it is. So I'll have a double espresso. There's fun everywhere. I'll walk down the street and talk to a complete stranger, someone who doesn't know me as Rik, and have a little adventure, pretend to be someone else. After 10 minutes they'll say: "You're that bloke off the telly, aren't you? What's your name?" And I say: "Jennifer. Jennifer Saunders." After I smashed my head in, in the accident, I was very ill for a year. I woke up and the world was completely different. Maybe it was a cheap, easy way of getting older. I don't take as much medication now. God wanted me completely cured. But when you start to get old, your memory starts to go, doesn't it? I'd like to go back to school. I don't know how to work computers, and it's all people talk about - "You've just got to look up dot-dot-slash-thingybob." I've been very happy all my life. I've had a f***ing good time. It's a big piece of luck because I'm shit at everything except acting. I don't like beetroot. I'm known for this. I'm not a big foodie type, it's just fuel. I don't have to go disco-dancing or do rude, naughty things. I'm nice. Sensible. I work till I'm exhausted and I sleep when I'm knackered. |